


Welcome to the Jungle

by Cassivell



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Awkward Boners, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 03:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7668217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassivell/pseuds/Cassivell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Keith could respond with a drunken witty retort, Shakira’s “Loca” started blasting through the club’s speakers.</p><p>Allura perked up, “Oh! This dancer is a crowd favorite!”</p><p>Keith glanced at the stage expecting to see another skinny blonde girl. Instead, he saw a beautiful brunette boy.</p><p> </p><p>An  incredibly self indulgent aged up Klance strip club AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loca

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to my beta reader/editor Jenna (or sailor-jenna if you're on tumblr).  
> Speaking of tumblr mine is thesufferpuppet  
> For anyone worried about ages;  
> Pidge-19  
> Shiro-30  
> Allura-32  
> Hunk, Lance, Keith are all around the mid 20's range!

Keith was going to kill Shiro. 

Why the fuck had he let his old roommate talk him into going out tonight? 

“You've been moping all week Keith. You need to get back out. Forget that jerk, go find someone new!” Shiro had said. “It'll be fun!” he continued. 

Now here Keith was, sitting in a strip club, drinking vodka shots alone. 

Altea was the club that Shiro’s fiancé, Allura, owned. Shiro helped manage it along with doing the performers’ makeup. Pidge apparently did all the financing and Allura’s uncle, Coran, was the bartender. 

With so many of Keith’s friends working here, it's honestly surprising that he hadn't visited here sooner. 

He would have liked the place just fine, it was just that the timing was shit. Only a short week after breaking up with his long term boyfriend, Keith wasn't quite ready to be out yet. 

Someone bumped Keith’s arm with their hip. Looking up Keith saw a massive cloud of white hair and a cotton candy pink dress. 

“Mind if I sit with you?” Allura asked. 

Keith shrugged and she took that as a yes. 

“Here. On the house,” She smiled and handed him another shot glass. 

He tipped it back, expecting vodka and tasting something awful instead. 

Choking Keith asked, “what the hell was that?”.

“I'm not sure,” Allura started, “we just got it in. I think it's called Nunvil?”.

Before Keith could respond with a drunken witty retort, Shakira’s “Loca” started blasting through the club’s speakers. 

Allura perked up, “Oh! This dancer is a crowd favorite!” 

Keith glanced at the stage expecting to see another skinny blonde girl. Instead, he saw a beautiful brunette boy. 

Keith unconsciously sat up straighter.

The boy had tawny brown skin and a body that was lithe and graceful, easily dancing to the music. His grin widened as Shakira sang the chorus.

"Ca con mi tigre. Loca, Loca, Loca."

He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, his torso was lightly covered in glitter. He tore his pants off, which Keith thought was overkill. 

Keith couldn't look away though, when the dancer turned around, revealing the back of his tiger print g-string. 

"His ass, it was haunting," Keith thought to himself. He felt all his blood rush (thankfully) to his face.

Watching the other boy, Keith was both dazed and slightly jealous, as men and women excitedly stuffed cash in his g-string. 

As the song ended he winked in Keith’s direction. His blushed deepened thinking that he had just been winked at. 

Turning around Keith saw that he had actually been winking at Shiro who had come up behind him during the song. The same Shiro who had been enthusiastically pointing at him. 

He stopped as soon as he noticed Keith had caught him. 

“What are you doing?” Keith asked, suspicious. 

Shiro answered, feigning innocence. “Who? Me? Nothing.” 

Allura and Shiro shared a look.

“Hey Keith, I’ve got to get back to the bar. Do you mind going in the back to get another crate of Nunvil?” Allura asked sweetly. 

“Why can't Shiro do it?” He asked. 

Shiro pointed to his prosthetic arm. “I can't lift it.” 

Now Keith knew for a fact something was going on. He'd seen Shiro lift practically twice his own weight with one arm before. 

But Keith was too drunk to argue. After some short directions he headed to the back. 

\------  
He must have misheard the directions. The room he was standing in was obviously not a storage room, it was- well he actually wasn't sure what type of room it was. 

It was dimly lit and quiet. Tasteful wallpaper adorned the room. The only furniture in it was a velvet couch and a stereo set up. 

“Hey there pretty boy.”

Keith turned toward the voice. 

Leaning on the door frame, still only wearing a g-string, was the boy from before.


	2. In the Air Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance and Huck are my brotp, Keith is super fucking gay, and Allura is the queen of meddling.

Looking around, eyes wide, Keith respond with the first thing that came to his mind, “Um, wow. This isn't the storage room.”

Lance bit back a giggle, as Lance thought he had a particularly annoying laugh. “Nope, it's the lap dance lounge.”

Keith's poor drunk mind didn't understand why Shiro had lead him to a lap dance lounge. “I think there's been a mistake-”

Lance grinned, “Oh honey, I don't make mistakes.” He walked in the room, closing the door behind him, his high heels clicking on the hardwood floor.

Strutting over to the stereo system he fiddled with the screen. “What song do you want?” He asked, looking back at the flustered long haired boy. “Maybe something 80’s to match the hair?” He teased. 

Keith made the best Intelligible response he could, which was something like “Um agh.”

Lance’s eyes watered from restraining his laughter. What did Shiro do to this poor boy? he wondered silently. 

He picked the first slow 80’s song that popped up, “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. 

Lance slowly turned around, placing his hands on Keith’s shoulders as the opening notes spilled from the speakers. He lowered the other boy down on to the couch. 

“Come on pretty boy, relax,” Lance purred, his eyes half-lidded. 

He thinks I'm pretty, was all Keith’s brain could manage to think. 

Lance had dropped to his knees, his face only a few inches above Keith’s crotch. 

I can feel it, coming in the air tonight. Oh lord.

Fuck me, fuck this, fuck my life Keith’s mind chanted like a mantra. 

Lance looked up Keith. His eyes were wide and beautiful, this close Keith could see the flecks of lighter blue in the other boy’s eyes. He couldn’t help but to think of a different situation where he was on his knees, looking up at him like that.

Keith wasn’t as fortunate as he was before, and this blood rushed to his crotch. The same crotch that Lance’s face was right next to.

FUCK NO! Keith’s mind screamed. He jumped up, forcing Lance to jerk backwards, landing on his ass.

“I’m so sorry, you were lovely, but I have to go now, bye!” Keith choked out as he ran to the door, except he said it so quickly it sounded more like “I’msosorryyouwereovelybutihavetogonowbye!”

Lance, still sitting on the floor, he could only watch the retreating figure in confusion.  
\---------------

Lance was sitting on the edge of the catwalk, counting bills. It was after hours so he had traded his g-string for his Stitch onesie (last year’s Christmas gift from Hunk) and had thoroughly scrubbed his face free of makeup. 

“That mullet guy was weird, kinda cute but weird.” 

Shiro blushed a little. “Sorry Lance, I didn't think he’d run out like that.”

Lance shrugged nonchalantly, “I mean I'm still getting paid for it, so it's no glitter off my ass.”

“So you did think he was cute?” Hunk asked nudging him with his elbow. 

Lance shrugged again, avoiding the question. He wrapped a rubber band around a wad of cash. 

“Thank you Shakira!” Lance said as he fanned himself with his cash. 

Pidge popped their head from around their laptop, “Don't you feel like “Loca” is kinda demeaning?” Pidge asked.

Lance made a confused face.

“You know as a Hispanic person?” Pidge clarified. 

“Nope”, Lance said popping the P. “Also I'm not Hispanic, I’m Latino.”

“Wait, there’s a difference?” Shiro asked confused. 

“Dude, I'm from Brazil. We speak Portuguese. Therefore, I'm not Hispanic.” Lance paused. “Although I did get a B in Spanish in high school- anyway. Hispanic and Latinx don't mean the same thing, the more ya know.”

Pidge and Shiro made little oh noises. 

Hunk, exhausted from hauling sound equipment around earlier, stretched out on the stage with his head resting in Lance’s lap. 

“Almost done buddy,” Lance promised Hunk. 

Hunk responded with a groan. 

“We still have to call the potential roommates tomorrow too,” Lance reminded Hunk. 

“I think you mean today,” Hunk replied 

Now it was Lance’s turn to groan. 

Allura perked up, “I didn't know you two were looking for a roommate.” Her exhaustion made her British accent more pronounced. 

“Yeah our last roommate moved out about a week ago, we put up an ad and we’ve gotten a few calls. But-” Hunk finished wincing. 

“We don’t really like any of them,” Lance stated bluntly. 

“Interesting,” Allura said cryptically. 

\----------

Later that night, long after Shiro had fallen asleep, Allura lay awake plotting. 

Shiro rolled over, apparently awake, and nuzzled his nose into the crook of Allura’s neck. “I know what you’re thinking,’ Shiro mumbled sleepily, “but we shouldn’t meddle any more than we already have.”

“What makes you think I’m thinking about meddling?” Allura asked demurely.

“Because I know you too well,” Shiro replied yawning. 

Allura paused for a moment, “Didn’t Keith live with his boyfriend?”

Shiro sighed, realizing he wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. He laced his fingers through Allura’s, “Yeah, why?”

“Where is he living now?”

“He said something about the Tumbleweed Motel.”

Allura’s grinned devilishly, “And Hunk and Lance mentioned that they’re looking for a new room mate…” she trailed off.

Shiro stiffened, “No”, he groaned.

‘Oh yes”.


	3. Take on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A kind of fillery chapter, but the first chapter I've written that reached the 2,000 word mark
> 
> (Also I'm always a slut for validation, if you comment I'll probs fall in love with you)

“No,” Keith stated simply.

“Why not?” Allura whined, “Lance and Hunk would love you!”

Maybe because the last time I saw Lance he gave me a lap dance and I popped a boner, Keith sulked silently. Pushing his fries around in ketchup, he planned what to say, but came up with nothing. “I just think it’s a bad idea.” He said lamely.

“But”, Allura persisted, “you can’t live in a motel forever. I know since you stopped fighting you’re living on savings, so renting with two other people would be much cheaper.”

Keith mumbled, “There’s a dojo in town thinking about hiring me.”

Allura instantly perked up, a sunny smile on her lips, “Oh Keith that would be great for you! Of course”, she continued, “the offer to work at Altea still stands too.” 

“Of course,” Keith replied grinning. It was hard not to smile when Allura was smiling.

Take on Me by A-ah played softly from the jukebox in the corner as Allura ordered two slices of cherry pie to go. 

The waitress, her name tag read “Shae”, stopped by to grab empty plates and place the check on the table, which Allura snatched up with superhuman speed. 

Keith may be an ex-MMA fighter, but he would be terrified to go toe to toe with Allura. So he knew better than to argue with her about paying the bill, but he still pouted.

“I just want to see you happy Keith, and I think that living with Hunk and Lance would make you happy. Would you agree to just one dinner with them? Pretty please?” she asked using her puppy dog eyes.

Fuck, not the puppy dog eyes! Keith groaned. “Fine. I’ll agree to one dinner, and that’s it!”

Allura cheered, happy that her plan had worked. She wondered how Shiro was doing convincing Hunk and Lance.

\--------------

“Yes!” Hunk exclaimed.

“No!” Lance interjected. 

“Why?!” Shiro questioned.

“Knock it off!” Pidge yelled at them from another room.

“Sorry,” they chorused back.

Shiro grabbed Lance’s face again and continued to apply foundation. His left hand skillfully painted over Lance’s high cheekbones, his right hand rested on the counter across the room along with the rest of his fake arm. Shiro found it annoying so he only wore it during business hours.

Lance began talking again after the brush was removed, as he knew better than to talk while Shiro was applying his makeup, “He’s just, I don’t know, weird? I don’t think I like him.”

“How do you know you don’t like him? You only spent five minutes with him,” Hunk said, always the voice of reason.

“Yeah, which is his fault!” Lance countered.

Hunk sighed and looked over to Shiro like well I tried.

Shiro started to work on Lance’s eyes, partly because it needed to be done for tonight, but also partly because he knew Lance couldn’t interrupt him until it was done. 

“Lance,” Shiro began in his best dad™ voice, “I’d like you to get to know Keith better. It’s ok if you don’t want him to live with you, that’s Hunk and your decision, but all of you are going to be in the wedding. Allura and I, we just want all of you to get along.”

Lance paused, “well shit, I guess I can’t say no to that without being a giant asshole.”

Pidge had been passing through the room at that moment. “You already are an asshole Lance,” they said as they breezed through the room.

Shiro grabbed the blush brush out of Lance’s hand before he could hurtle it at Pidge.

“Hey Shiro, your phone went off,” Hunk said.

Shiro felt for it in his pocket but didn’t find it, “Where is it?” he asked.

“I think it’s by your arm.”

Glancing down at all of the makeup and hair styling products in his way Shiro asked Hunk if he could give him a hand.

Lance immediately bolted to where his prosthetic lay, acting as if he hadn’t done this gag fifty times already.

Hunk grabbed him by the back of his shirt, “No,” he said sternly.

After being released Lance rolled his eyes and tossed the cellphone to Shiro, who caught it effortlessly.  
______________________  
Princess <3 : Got Keith to agree to eat dinner with Hunk and Lance! How are things on your end??  
______________________  
“Hey Hunk, Lance, how does dinner tomorrow night sound?” Shiro asked smiling.

\---------------------

Dinner was amazing, or at least the food was. Hunk’s cooking skills alone made Keith want to move in. He had made mixed seafood stew from scratch after hearing Keith was Korean. Hunk wanted to know if it tasted authentic. Keith didn’t have the heart to tell him that he had never had it before, authentic or not.

“Oh yeah,” Keith lied as he helped clean dishes, “it tastes just like it's from the uh, Korean restaurant that was in my home town.”

“Really?” Hunk beamed at him.

“Yeah, really,” Keith smiled. 

Hunk smiled back, then his eyes widened like he could sense a disturbance in the force. “Lance, I swear to god if you smack me with that dish towel I know you’re rolling up I will put pineapple on all of your pizzas for the rest of your life,” Hunk said, not bothering to look behind him to see if Lance was really about to smack him.

Which he was. 

Lance placed the dish towel down dejectedly. “That pineapple threat is cruel, even for you.”

Hunk shrugged. “One day you will learn to accept all pizza.”

They interacted with each other so easily and intimately Keith felt like an intruder. 

Hunk, as if sensing that keith was uncomfortable, nudged Keith with his shoulder. “So what do you want to do next? Movies, maybe a card game?”

Lance interrupted before Keith could even think of an answer. “Oh no no no, we need to get to know Keith better,” he said with a devious grin. 

Hunk looked back and forth between Lance and Keith, “Lance I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…”

“But it’s tradition!” Lance whined. 

Sighing,Hunk gave in. “Fine, I’ll grab the shot glasses.”

“I’ll grab the tequila!” Lance exclaimed.

Keith turned to Hunk, “Shot glasses? Tequila?” he questioned.

“Yeah, it’s a tradition Lance and I started in college. Any time we wanted to really get to know someone we’d play never have I ever with them,” He answered.

Which still didn’t explain the shot glasses and tequila to Keith. “I didn’t play it very much, but I don’t remember shot glasses in it.”

“Wait,” Lance said placing the bottle on the kitchen table. “You’ve never played with shots? Ok, so basically when someone says something and you’ve done it, you take a shot instead of placing a finger down. First person to down ten shots loses.”

Keith pondered. Would ten shots of tequila get him drunk? He’d never had it before so he wasn’t sure, best to err on the side of caution though, as Keith didn’t want to be drunk around Lance again any time soon. He mentally shuddered, thinking of that night at the club.

“I’m not really up for alcohol tonight,” Keith said, nervous. 

“That’s cool bro, he have an-” Lance wiggled his eyebrows- “alternative for people who don’t want to drink.” He walked to the fridge and proudly pulled out a bottle of Tabasco sauce. 

They all sat down and filled their glasses, Hunk’s glass had the word “Aloha” and a flower on it, Lance’s had the bisexual flag, and Keith assumed his was from Altea since it had a black lion on it. 

The Tabasco bottle was spun to decide who got to start. 

It landed on Hunk.

He took a moment to pick what he wanted to say. “Never have I ever cheated on a test.” 

Lance raised his glass and noticed that Keith didn’t raise his. “Goodie two shoes.” He muttered eyeing both Keith and Hunk. Lance licked the back of his hand, which keith tried not to stare at, and sprinkled salt on it. Then he downed his shot and drank from a cup of pineapple juice.

Keith didn’t understand the need for all the steps but he didn’t say anything about it. 

“We’re going clockwise, so it’s your turn Keith.” Lance said, his nose still scrunched up from the after taste of the shot, which Keith found weirdly cute.

“Um, never have I ever… played never have I ever with shots?” Keith said lamely, not sure of what else to pick.

But Hunk and Lance groaned at the same time and took their shots. Hunk took the pineapple juice before instead of after like Lance. Keith tried not to think too much about how they were sharing a glass.

“Ok my turn,” Lance exclaimed. “Never have I ever been arrested!”

Keith winced and downed his shot of hot sauce, his mouth burned. Avoiding Hunk and Lance’s twin looks of shock, Keith looked at the clock on the wall. It was shaped like a rocket ship and read 9:34.

“Wow. Story. Now,” Lance demanded eagerly.

“Only if you’re comfortable with sharing,” Hunk adding quickly.

Keith shrugged, still not making eye contact. “Got into a fight, it was a mistake, it won’t ever happen again.”

There was a awkward moment of silence; the ticking of the rocket clock could be heard.

“It’s my turn again,” Hunk said to break the silence. “Never have I ever been out of the country.”

“Oh that’s cheating!” Lance yelled. “You lived in Hawaii, that’s only technically a part of the country.”

“But still a part of the country. Drink up my lovely Brazil nut,” Hunk said grinning.

“I’ll nut you,” Lance mumbled.

Keith’s fist went to his mouth to try and hold back his laughter, but it was like trying patch a broken dam with bubblegum.

His laughter poured out pure and sweet, making Lance turn the color of the Tabasco sauce.

Hunk started laughing too, but it was mostly because he thought seeing Lance flustered was funny. 

Lance took his shot mostly to have something to do that didn’t involve staring at Keith’s smile.

“Never have I ever seen snow in person,” Keith said a little wistfully. 

Hunk and Lance both took a shot, Hunk explained that they took a skiing trip with Pidge last winter.

“Never have I ever liked pineapple on pizza,” Lance said staring at Hunk, who took his shot with only minor grumbling.

Keith stated that he had never had pineapple on pizza, to which Hunk replied by saying he’d make it for him the next time he came over.

“Well, never have I ever had Shiro do my makeup,” Hunk said.

Lance groaned and took a shot, Keith took one too.

“When did he do your makeup?” Lance asked, his words dragged on a little longer than needed, but they didn’t slur yet.

Shrugging Keith replied, “I was his roommate for a while, he’d practice on me.” 

Lance wondered what Keith would look like in eyeliner and glitter. Hot, his mind answered unhelpfully.

“Never have I ever worn heels,” Keith said, looking a shyly over at Lance.

“Ok, I’m being targeted,” Lance sputtered. Hunk gave him a look and Lance took his shot with only minimal eye rolling.

“Never have I ever had a mullet,” Lance countered.

Touche, Keith thought as he took his shot.

“Hmm, never have I ever had a crush on a teacher,” Hunk stated after a brief pause.

Both Keith and Lance took a shot, neither of them said anything. 

Hunk snickered.

“Don’t kinkshame me Hunk,” Lance groaned.

“Oh the shaming has just begun,” Hunk replied.  
\-----------------------------------

Many Kinkshames and call-outs later, Keith had won. Mostly because Hunk and Lance had decided to wage a war against one another.

Hunk had also tapped out of drinking after six shots and switched to the hot sauce. Lance tried to switch as well to which Hunk replied, “Oh no, you can chug this like it’s nothing, it’s not a punishment for you.” Leaving Hunk only tipsy, Lance shitfaced, and Keith completely amused.

The clock read 12:15 when Keith finally left, his stomach was full and his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. This was the most fun he had in awhile, and as much as he wanted to deny it, he knew he’d be back soon.


	4. It's Time to Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update , I had a massive case of writer's block that only season 2 could cure

Keith heard a knock on his door, he figured it was just the nosey cleaning lady. He pondered on not opening the door, but he figured that would be rude. 

 

Not bothering to throw a shirt on or fix his bed head, Keith fought to get out of the cocoon of blankets.

 

“Listen Sue, I don't need new sheets everyday,” he said as he opened the door. 

 

“Well that's a relief,” a male voice answered sarcastically. 

 

Keith rubbed his eyes groggily, why were Lance and Hunk here so early in the morning, he wondered. 

 

“Dude, did you just get up? It's like one in the afternoon,” Lance questioned. 

 

“What he means,” Hunk said nudging Lance, “is that we're sorry we woke you up.”

 

“ ‘s ok,” Keith said yawning. 

 

Lance was staring very intensely at a rock on the ground. He was torn between thinking Keith was cute when he's sleepy and thinking he looked hot as fuck shirtless and with messy hair. 

 

Keith opened the door wider, “would you like to come in?” He asked. 

 

“Sure!” Hunk said brightly, dragging Lance with him through the door. 

 

Keith looked around the room to offer them a seat, he realized that his room didn't have any. Their choices if they wanted to sit was the sink counter or his bed. 

 

Keith started to notice everything else wrong with his room. From the cracks in the wall, to his clothes scattered on the floor, to the sink that never really turned all the way off. 

 

He tried to gauge the other's reaction, but their faces remained strictly neutral. 

 

Keith scratched the back of his neck, “so what can I do for you?” He asked awkwardly. 

 

Hunk smiled. “Well me and Lance,” Hunk wrapped his arm around Lance’s shoulders, Lance rolled his eyes at this, “wanted to ask if you'd like to move in with us!”

 

Keith blinked a few times, shocked, “Wait, really?” 

 

“Really really,” Hunk answered smiling, “so what do you say?”

 

“Uh yeah, yes. I'd like that,” Keith replied smiling back at him. 

 

Hunk deemed it necessary to have a group hug, which both Lance and Keith protested. But Hunk had his mind set, he grabbed both of them and squeezed them tightly into his arms. 

 

Even with Lance’s boney elbow in his ribs, Keith found himself enjoying the hug. 

 

Lance was trying to distance himself and his thoughts away from Keith's bare flesh that was now pressed against him. 

 

After Hunk released them he walked outside, then promptly walked back inside with cardboard boxes in his arms. He sat them done on the unmade bed and gestured at them to Keith. 

 

“Um, thank you for the boxes?” Keith said, his voice taking on a questioning tone at the end. 

 

“They're to move your stuff genius”, Lance explained snarkily. 

 

“Wait, like as in moving in today?” Keith asked, still slow and groggy from just waking up.

 

“No time like the present,” Lance replied snappily.

 

Keith could see Hunk carefully picking up his clothing from the floor and folding them.

 

Blushingly Keith snatched a pair of boxers off the floor before Hunk could see them, “t-thanks Hunk, but I can fold my own clothes.”

 

“I don’t mind helping,” Hunk said. “And I know someone else who wouldn’t mind either,” he said pointedly at Lance.

 

Lance grumbled but complied.

 

“So why all the hurry, I mean we don’t have to finish today right?” Keith questioned Hunk as he helped him place his now folded clothes in a box.

 

“Well Allura-” Hunk began.

 

Keith huffed, of course, this has her written all over it he thought.

 

“-wanted us to celebrate tonight. You moving in, Altea’s third anniversary, make it one big party ya know?” Hunk continued.

 

“Oh!” he said his eyes getting wide, “ I almost forgot, I’m making pizza for everyone tonight too. You get to try Hawaiian pizza tonight!”

 

“Blasphemy! Witchcraft!” Lance called out from somewhere in the bathroom. Hunk ignored him.

 

“What?” Keith yelled back.

 

Lance walked out off the bathroom holding a bottle in front of him like it held a strain of smallpox. 

 

“2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner, really. REALLY?” Lance asked in an accusing tone.

 

Hunk just shook his head as Lance gave Keith a fifteen minute lecture on proper hair maintenance, although he did keep a mental tally of how many times he said the word “mullet”. 

\--------------

 

 

All in all it only took about an hour to pack all of Keith’s things and clean up the room.

 

Hunk and Lance left afterwards, Hunk had said something about needing to start the pizzas. 

 

Keith didn’t realize making pizzas from scratch took so long, although it’s not like Keith really had a reason to know, his best dish was microwaved ramen.

 

Glancing around his room Keith felt a smile tug at his lips. Hunk and Lance, and their home, had this aura of light and life surrounding it, he couldn't belief that he was lucky enough to now be apart of it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Allura brought champagne and Coran brought Nunvil, apparently he's a big fan of it, but Keith was already gagging at the memory of it.

 

“I propose a toast!” exclaimed Allura, holding her champagne flute aloft, “to friends, to Altea, and to the longevity of both!”

 

Everyone brought their glasses together, well everyone but Pidge who was under age, they just clicked their slice of pizza with the glasses.

 

Keith had discovered that Hawaiian pizza was, in fact, the best food ever. Lance had called him a traitor, but he was smiling while he said it. 

 

Everyone was laughing and talking, it felt like a scene from a movie, but instead of just watching it and being an onlooker, Keith was in it too. Lance was sitting to his left currently and Shiro to his right. Shiro was sharing with Lance some of their crazier college stories.

 

“- So the campus police were chasing us, Keith and I jump onto his motorcycle-”

 

“Wait!” Lance interrupts Shiro to look at Keith, “You had a motorcycle, that was so badass, what happened?” he teased.

 

Keith rolled his eyes at the comment and busies himself by getting another slice of pizza.

 

Shiro continues the story, getting louder as it gets to the climax, “We couldn’t shake them though, so Keith starts driving on the sidewalk. I see a it dip down into a flight of stairs and I remember thinking ‘this is worse than anything I had to do as a pilot’ and Keith yells ‘fuck it’ and jumps the entire thing. We landed and sped off as the campus cops looked at us in awe. And that’s how we stole the Dean’s prized confederate flag from his office.”

 

The story had brought everyone, as everyone began listen as Shiro got louder, into hysterics, probably egged on by the alcohol they had consumed.

 

Dessert was served, elephant ears Hunk had made from leftover pizza dough and vanilla Blue Bell ice cream. Allura cleared her throat and gave Shiro a look from across the table, a coy smile splayed across her lips. “Everybody, Shiro and I have decided on a date for our wedding,” she said beaming. Shiro had moved his hand across the table to hold her’s, it was sickenly sweet.

 

“Well don’t keep us on edge, when is it?” Hunk whined.

 

“Three months from today,” she answered excitedly.  
“Woah, only three months,” Lance exclaimed, “That’s so near, have you started planning yet? What are your colors? Allura have you found a dress?!”

 

Allura was biting her lips to keep from giggling over Lance’s dramatics, Shiro wasn’t doing much better.

 

Lance tried to calm down so he could casually ask, “So um have you picked out the best man and maid of honor?” His eyes darted back and forth between them. 

 

“Well,” Shiro said turning to Keith, “I was hoping you would be my best man.”

 

Allura moved her hand from Shiro’s to squeeze Lance’s, “And I was hoping you would be my man of honor?”

 

Lance stood up so fast he knocked his chair down, rushing over he encased Allura in a bear hug.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Everyone had left for the night, leaving Keith alone to start his first night as a part of the Garrett-Mclain household. Lance was already bitching that Keith was shedding his mullet hair everywhere, “he’s like a cat!’.

 

Much like a cat in a new environment Keith retreated to his room for some quiet. He was thumbing through an old book he had unpacked when Hunk had knocked on his door, his face was pale and tired looking, a complete 180 from how he looked a few hours earlier.

 

“Hey Hunk is everything ok?” Keith asked as he ushered him into his room.

 

Hunk bit his lip and shook his head, “I just got a call from my dad, Tutu, my grandmother fell and broke her hip. She’s going into surgery and dad needs me to help her with her recovery so he can continue working.”

 

“Woah Hunk, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

Hunk smiled a little at the question, “Keep an eye on Lance for me while I’m gone, he forgets to eat sometimes when I’m not here to remind him. And I know he can be a little rude, but it’s his way of getting to know you and he’ll ease up soon.”

 

“Uh ok, yeah I’ll keep an eye on him,” keith replied a little flustered. “When are you leaving?”

 

I’m headed to Molokai tomorrow afternoon. Thanks again for agreeing to Lance sit!” He ruffled Keith’s hair and left before his sputtering could form a coherent sentence. 

 

~~~~~~~~  
It was now two days into “Lance sitting” and Keith felt like he was doing an awful job. The fact that they were completely different sleeping schedules and Keith’s general awkwardness didn’t really help facilitate any social interactions between the two of them either. So needless to say he was a little surprised (and thankful that he brings his clothing into the bathroom with him when he showers) to see Lance sitting in his room.

 

“You, me, gay chicken. Loser has to do the winner’s laundry for a month,” Lance said, spinning around in Keith’s desk chair.

 

“What? No,” Keith replied throwing his damp towel at him, “Leave.”

 

“Fine,” Lance said as he rose from the chair, “I’d win anyway.”

 

Keith snorted as he tried to comb through his tangled wet hair, “Yeah? What makes you so sure?”

 

Lance rolled his eyes, “Because you’re straight.”

 

“Ew, no, I’m gay,” He answered shocked. “What makes you think I’m straight?”

 

Shrugging Lance answered nonchalantly, “Well you’ve been avoiding me and you ran out when I gave you that lap dance so I just figured…” He trailed off and shrugged again.

 

“No, I ran out because”, Keith started out, “I ran because of… something else.”

 

So he didn’t run out because he didn’t like guys, he ran out because he didn’t like me. That’s why he’s been avoiding me Lance monologued silently. 

 

“Whatever,” Lance said rolling his eyes, he reached for the doorknob when he heard Keith mutter “Make it two months.”

 

“What?” Lance asked wide eyed.

 

“I said, make it two months and I’m in,” He was scowling at Lance, his arms crossed, and a determined look was in his eyes.

 

Lance grinned, “Deal.” 

 

He leaned in closer to Keith, his eyes half lidded. 

 

Keith, not to be out done, leaned in and curled his hand into Lance’s hair. Damn his hair is soft keith thought.

 

At this point Lance had to lean down to get closer to Keith’s face, a fact that he loved. Slipping his hand under Keith’s shirt Lance rested it on the small of Keith's back.

 

Keith gasped at the contact and tried his best to suppress the feeling of pleasure that came with it. He noticed that Lance’s grin was gone, Keith wondered what the other boy was thinking.

 

He didn’t have to wait long to find out. Lance bit his lip before asking, “Why did you run out at the club?” His voice was breathy and his eyes unreadable.

 

Keith flushed, but decided to answer him honestly. Looking away Keith whispered, “You...I-” he swallowed, “I got a boner.”

 

Lance pulled back from him and Keith started to panic, until he saw the look on Lance’s face. He looked like a kid that was just told their test was cancelled. 

 

“Wait!” he said laughing, “You didn’t leave because you were straight, or because you didn’t like me, you left because you got a boner?!” Lance asked laughing with joy.

 

Keith crossed his arms again, “Shut up.”

 

Lance wiped his eyes, his laughter finally dying down. “Sorry, sorry! It’s just I thought you hated me! Oh my god, it was just a boner,” he sighed.

 

“It was embarrassing,” Keith grumbled as he fingered the hem of his shirt.

 

“Dude, I am stripper. You’re not the first person who’s gotten a boner while getting a lap dance, and you certainly won’t be the last,” He shook his head smiling, “Sorry about the gay chicken thing, it was just- it was a kinda crazy plan to figure out if you disliked me.”

 

“Couldn’t you have just asked me?” Keith asked confused.

 

Lance scratched the back of his neck, “Yeah, I probably should have. And I would have if Hunk was here.”

 

“What’s Hunk got to do with it?” Keith asked even more confused.

 

“He’s like 95% of my impulse control,” He shrugged and turned to walk out.

 

“Hey,” Keith called out, “I… don’t dislike you Lance.”

 

Lance turned around and smiled a little shyly, “I don’t dislike you either Keith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter has some sin so I'm bumping up the rating to explicit


	5. Pour Some Sugar on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward wet dream/masturbation scene

Keith had Lance’s lithe body pinned down, he leaned down to nibble his ear. “Do you want this?” he whispered. 

 

“Yes,” Lance whimpered back. 

 

Keith slowly moved his hand down Lance’s toned torso, resting his hand just shy of his crotch. 

 

Their lips met, Lance’s tongue traced Keith’s bottom lip. Keith bent his head to deepen their kiss. His tongue circled Lance’s drawing out a breathy moan from him. 

 

Lance grabbed Keith’s hand and moved it down to cup his aching dick. 

 

“Pl-please,” Lanced breathed. 

 

Keith slipped his hand into Lance’s pants, his thumb rubbed small circles onto Lance’s slick head. Lance moaned again, bucking his hips into Keith’s touch. Then Keith- woke up. 

 

He was covered in sweat, his sheets sticking to his bare skin. He could feel his hard dick pulsing uncomfortably between his legs. 

 

Keith groaned, I did NOT just have a wet dream about Lance.

 

His dick pulsed again as if to say “yes you did, now what are you going to do about it?”

 

He glanced at his alarm clock on his bedside table to see what time it is, 3:07 AM glared back at him almost mockingly. There was no way he could take a shower now, either for the cold water to wake him up or to have a clean place to release his frustration, and he couldn’t wait for morning either. 

 

Keith eyed his tissue box on his desk and felt a blush rise to his neck. He gathered the tissue box and a tube of lotion from his bathroom drawer, his dick bobbing awkwardly between his legs as he walked. Sitting down on the edge of his bed Keith couldn’t help but feel like a horney thirteen year old again, jacking off into a tissue. 

 

Keith may have already gotten two boners from Lance but he adamantly refused to think about him with he jerked off, it seemed like crossing a line in their newly formed friendship. So he started off slowly, purposely thinking of generically attractive men as he stroked himself. He imagined them squeezing his ass as they kissed his neck, running their nails down his back as they moaned in his ear, wrapping their hand around his dick. But the hand he invision around his member changed, it became tan and thin with short crescent shaped nails. Keith looked at the man’s face to find ocean blue eyes and a smug smirk. 

 

Keith was shoved back into reality, he flung his hand away from himself, accidently knocking over the alarm clock onto the hardwood floor. His breathing was heavy, he was so close, so close to finishing. He groaned as a ‘fuck it’ and dove back into his fantasy.

 

\---------

 

Lance was in the kitchen making a cup of tea when he heard a crash come from Keith’s room, finding it odd that he was awake at this hour Lance went to go investigate.  
\----------

 

Keith was back in Altea, alone with Lance in the room where they first met. He was sitting on the couch, his pants and boxers were pulled down to his ankles. Keith brushed his fingers against his frenulum as he imagined Lance’s head bobbing between his legs. Him looking up at Keith through his thick lashes as his mouth took in all of Keith’s dick. 

 

“Lance,” Keith moaned right as Lance, the real Lance, opened the door the his bedroom.

 

He gazed at Keith, then down at his dick, then back up at Keith, then closed the door.

 

Keith’s heart and mind were both racing, had Lance walked in before or during him moaning his name, dick in hand? Both scenarios were bad but one was marginally worse than the other, but before Keith could obsess over it more his door was being opened again.

 

Lance stepped in and closed the door, Keith quickly covered his dick with his pillow.

 

“Wha-” Keith begin

 

“You were jacking off to me, weren’t you?” Lance asked excitedly, wide eyes and a smile of pure glee adorned his face. 

 

“Lance,” Keith groaned, willing the world to open up swallow him.

 

Lance laughed maniacally, “that’s, holy shit that’s amazing.”

 

“Leave, please, I’m begging,” Keith said with his face in his hands.

 

Lance did leave, one hand covering his mouth to smother his laughter. But he wasn’t gone for long. He popped his head back in almost immediately to say, “by the way, you have a nice dick” and then he was gone for good.

 

Keith wanted to die. He decided it was time for a cold shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should've locked the door Keith. 
> 
> But man poor thing just got over the boner embarrassment and now he had to deal with this


	6. Work in Progress

Keith was avoiding Lance almost religiously. Their sleep schedules were already slightly different, but Keith changed it even more, making sure he was up jogging before 5AM and going to bed promptly at 9 PM. He was exhausted but that was good, the more tired he was the less time he had to think about ‘the incident’.

 

It's been almost a week since it happened and Keith could tell that Lance wanted to talk to him; whether it was about what happened or just talking in general, Keith wasn't sure. Lance had left him little notes on the fridge whiteboard that read “ rented a movie, wanna watch?” Or “for the love of god can we please eat something besides cereal or ramen for dinner tonight?”

 

Keith felt a little bad about ignoring him, but to be frank he had no fucking clue how to deal with this. And what the hell did Lance mean when he said “by the way you have a nice dick”?

 

His cellphone ringing pulled Keith out of his rabbit hole of thoughts, the caller ID said “Pepe La Pew"

 

“Hey Shiro, what's up?" Keith asked, trying to sound calm. Oh god had Lance told him what happened? Was he calling to talk about it?

"Hey Keith," Shiro started, his voice tired and thin, "are you busy right now?"

"No why?" Keith replied confused. A quick check at his phone told him that it was only 10AM, Shiro and everyone else from the club should still be sleeping in. 

The line went silent. 

"Shiro, you still there? What's wrong?" Keith asked slightly worried. 

"The Galra, a local gang, trashed Altea last night sometime between closing and now. We just got the call from the police, Allura and I are heading over now to assess the damage now."

"I don't understand," Keith said as he got out of his chair and paced his room, "what would a gang want with Altea all of a sudden? It's been open for like what three years, why haven't they done something sooner?"

Keith could tell Shiro was pinching the bridge of his nose because he made that little nose sighing noise he always does when he's frustrated. "Well the Galra was on the other side of town, but apparently they've been expanding their turf. And apparently they tried to get Allura to pay them protection money recently and she said no without telling me," Shiro said in a forced calm tone. 

Yikes. Keith wouldn't want to be in the same room as the two of them when they finally talk about this. 

Keith could hear car doors opening on the other line, then he heard Shiro and Allura gasp. 

"Talk to me," Keith said, "how bad is it?" He was already clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to keep a hold of his temper. 

"I-it's pretty bad, and we're just looking at the outside right now. Some of the windows are smashed, and they graffitied some uh choice insults. Hey, one minute Keith, Allura needs to talk to me."

"Ok," Keith said and hung up. 

He wished he still had his old punching bag, Keith could feel his anger boiling him from the inside out. God he wanted to hit something, or someone. Keith could just imagine breaking the nose of one of the faceless Galra hood rats. 

 

Keith sat down in his desk chair again and started doing breathing exercises, reminding himself that fighting had only gotten him in trouble in the past. 

Shiro was calling him back, Keith answered on the first ring. "So?" He asked. 

"We went inside, some of the stools were destroyed and most of the alcohol from the bar is gone. But it could have been worse, all of the money was deposited so there wasn't any here and they couldn't get into any of the back rooms because they didn't have the code."

Keith breathed a sigh of relief. 

"But Allura wants to have the place cleaned up by tonight so we can open like nothing happened, to show them they can't mess with us. I agree with her, but we need every spare pair of hands we can get helping if it's going to work. Mind grabbing Lance and heading over here?"

I do actually, Keith thought. 

"No not at all, we'll be there soon," he said instead. 

 

\------------

 

Keith walked up to Lance's door and then turned around, and then went back to it. He did this a few times before he gathered the courage to lightly knock on his door. 

There was so response. 

He tried again, harder. Still no response. 

It's ok Keith, just walk in and wake him up. No big deal, he thought to himself. 

But what if he brought someone home?

 

Nah Lance doesn't bring his dates back here, or so Keith has heard. 

Well what if he sleeps in the nude, and his dick and everything is out when I walk in? Well he is a stripper and he's seen my dick already so that'd make it fair, Keith reasoned. 

He took a deep breath and braced himself for whatever and opened the door. 

Lance was sprawled out in is bed in button down silk pajamas, a green face mask, and a sleep mask, softly snoring. Keith bit his lips to stop from giggling at the scene and at himself for being so nervous. He did however quietly slip his phone out and snap a photo, for blackmail. 

"Lance, wake up," he said as he nudged his shoulder. 

Lance's snores ended with a snort, he groaned as he removed his sleep mask. Eyeing Keith he murmured, "you're dressed, so this isn't a dream. Go away, let me sleep." 

He rolled over but Keith grabbed his arm, "Lance, Shiro and Allura need our help. I'll tell you more on the way to Altea, get up."

That seemed to rouse him so Keith left so Lance could change. 

 

\----------

The drive to Altea was awkward, luckily it wasn't too far away from the house and Keith spent most of the time filling Lance in and answering his questions. 

When they got there Keith was glad to be put to work, he busied himself sweeping up glass and assembling new stools for the bar. 

Keith could see Lance and Pidge across the room face timing Hunk to go over the sound and light equipment. 

Coran was behind the bar mourning the loss of his wares. He smiled at Keith when he noticed him looking, "well at least they left the Nunvil!" He called out cheerily. 

Keith couldn't say he blamed them on that account. 

Shiro walked in from covering up the graffiti, his hair was pulled back, his arm was off, and he was completely covered in paint. 

"That's a good look for you Shiro, but you know the paint is supposed to go on the wall right?" Keith teased. 

Shiro's smirk transformed into a big cheesy smile, "you know Keith, I'm so grateful that you came to help. Come here," he said nearing Keith with his arm stretched out, " I want to give you a hug to say thanks."

 

"Nooo!" Keith yelled, running away and laughing. 

Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch in amusement, some even placed bets on who would win. 

In the end Pidge helped Shiro box him into a corner, so Shiro won as he wrapped his paint covered arm around Keith's waist. Keith had worn an old shirt so he didn't mind, in fact he was happy that he could take everyone's mind off of what had happened for a little while. 

Keith could see Lance giving Pidge a high five and smiling, and holy shit it was adorable. His cheeks were rosy from laughing and his eyes were all crinkled as he relayed what had happened to Hunk. Keith felt his heart give a painful twinge. 

Lance have seen Keith staring because he gave him a cheeky grin and wink, just like he did the night they first met. Keith was suddenly thrown back to that moment; he imagined Lance on stage with his hair and makeup done. And then he saw he as he was now, bags under his eyes from being woken up early and all sweaty and grimy from cleaning. Keith felt like he was still just as beautiful. 

I'm fucking dead kiddo, Keith thought to himself. He knew he was past the point of no return in his pining. 

So caught up in thought Keith hadn't realized that Allura had taken to the stage to make an announcement. 

"- I'm so proud and thankful to all of you, because of your hard work Altea looks good as new! However for my plan to work I'm afraid I have to ask a little more of you all. Shiro and I want to open again tonight to show that we will not be bullied into submission, unfortunately that means we'll all have to work tonight."

Scattered groans from the crowd responded to the comment, the loudest of which was, of course, Lance. 

"But!" Allura said to get everyone's attention again, " you'll be paid over time and we'll be closing early tonight so you all can get some sleep. It's," Allura checked the clock on her phone, " 7:09 now, which means we have a few hours until opening. Go home, get cleaned up, and most importantly get some rest."

Lance trotted up to Keith, seeming to have gotten a second wind. "You ready to go home? Oh, can I drive?" He asked leaning in to snatch the keys from Keith's back pocket, purposefully invading his personal space. 

Keith stepped back to put some distance between them, "actually I was gonna stick around, see if there's anything left that I can help with. Can you get a ride home with Nyma?"

Lance quirked his eyebrow and crossed his arms, "you wouldn't be avoiding me would you?"

Keith flushed, "what no, that's stupid."

"Uh-huh," Lance said unconvinced, "well if that's the case then you won't mind me sticking around too."

"Of course not," Keith answered a little too loudly, "but you need to get some rest."

Lance smirked, "there are couches here, remember?"

Keith ground his teeth together, "yeah. Whatever. I'm gonna..." Keith looked around and saw Coran placing bottles haphazardly onto the shelves of the bar, "help Coran restock."

"You do that!" Lance yelled as he walked away. 

"I will!" Keith yelled back as he stomped to the bar. 

Coran as it turned out, had heard them, "woah what was that all about? You two are like wallabies in heat under the full moon!" He exclaimed. 

Keith stared at him for a moment, "Coran, you've said some weird shit, but that takes the cake." 

Coran shrugged and wordlessly handed Keith bottles to shelve. 

It when on like that for a little while, blissfully quiet, until Coran spoke up again. 

"You probably don't want advice from an old man like me but I'm gonna give it anyway," he started while leaning back on the bar, "Lance has a big heart, and it's gotten him hurt a lot in the past, so if he's rude or standoffish I think it's because he's trying to guard himself. But he's taken a real liking to you-"

Keith perked up at this. 

"- and if I'm not mistaken you have too, so whatever is going on between you two I'd try to work it out. Besides you two have to work together for the wedding anyway, so you kind of have to work it out huh?" Coran questioned as he twirled his mustache. 

Keith groaned, between him and Lance and what happened to Altea, he had completely forgotten about the wedding. Keith figured that probably made him a bad best man. 

"Hey Coran, can you finish this up on your own? I need to go talk to Lance," Keith said hopping over the bar counter. 

"Atta-boy!" Coran shouted, which Keith took as a yes. 

\-----------------

"Hey Lance can I talk to you?" Keith asked, his blush already creeping onto his face. 

Pidge gave the pair a quizzical glance from across the room. 

"Uh outside?" Keith stuttered out as Pidge rolled their eyes in a "it's not like I was listening anyway" manner. 

 

"Yeah, of course," Lance agreed, relieved that they were finally talking. He led Keith to the alleyway behind Altea, the cigarette butts of other strippers were littered all over the asphalt. 

Keith decided to stare at those instead of Lance, who was looking at him expectantly. 

"Look-"

"I'm-"

They stared at each other and awkwardly laughed at their situation. 

"So I want to say I'm sorry" Lance said, his voice soft. 

Keith had imagined all the possible ways this conversation could go, but he hadn't thought Lance would be the one to apologize. "You- you're apologizing?" Keith asked, his voice raised in shock. 

"Uh yes?" Lance replied confused. 

"But you didn't do anything-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," Lance said raising his hand to silence Keith, "I responded not that amazingly. I knew you were embarrassed but I teased you anyway and I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable." 

To say Keith was at a loss for words was an understatement. "How can you apologize for making me feel uncomfortable, I was the one who was-" Keith really did try to say the words he knew they were both thinking but his traitorous lips wouldn't form the words. He made an awkward gesture instead, hoping Lance would get the point. 

"I crossed a line, I made things weird between us, and to top it off I waited this long to say sorry. So um, sorry again for everything."

"Well you're right to apologize for avoiding me, that was a dick move, but I'm a stripper, a sex worker, Keith. You think I don't know that some people watch me dance and then add me to their spank bank?"

Keith winced at Lance's wording, but he didn't seem to notice. 

"And honestly I'm a little flattered, I mean of course it would have been better to find out you think I'm attractive by you just telling me-"

Keith sputtered. 

"-but we're good, yeah?"

"Yeah," Keith said smiling, glad to finally have talked about all of this. 

"Great," Lance said smiling as he looped his arm around Keith's shoulder, guiding them back insider continued, "because it's been so boring having no one to talk to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Casually drops a chapter after months of absence* oops, I meant to finish this sooner but I hit some writer's block and seriously considered abandoning wttj. Anyway hope y'all like this chapter!
> 
> oh and the part about Coran and his wacky sayings, he's actually from New Zealand but everyone mistakes him for Australian so he just rolls with it and fucks with people


End file.
